The Birds and the Bees, If You Please

Snapshots of the last few days .....


Young Lady, "Mommy, what"s a 'bourdon' in English?
Me: "I'm not sure.  What color is it?"
Young Lady (delighted to have a chance to expound her extensive knowledge) "Well, it can be brown or grey or black ..."
Me: "Is it a bee?"
Young Lady: "No, it's a 'bourdon.'"
Me: "Um ... I think it's a bumblebee, actually"
Young Lady, cracking up, "Bumble?  Like Bumble in 'Fifi and the Flower Tots?'" (a British cartoon)
Me: "Well yes, they call him Bumble because he is a bumblebee.
Young Lady, "Oh."


I catch Peanut gulping - and I mean gulping - down green watercolor paint.  I frantically grab the box.  whew!  only a choking hazard.   he's not choking.  nothing here about poison.... so it must be okay.


I look at Peanut.  He looks at me.  His chin is green.  There's green all down his shirt, all over his pants, in between each chubby finger.  He smiles.


His teeth are green.


Big Boy is hurling himself everywhere because his friend Timéo is leaving for the morning.  He's crying and making all sorts of racket, which he has been doing each time one of our friends comes to visit and then leaves.  After trying to reason with him, I finally say, "Is it because Daddy is not here and you miss him?  You want to do a 'calin' (cuddle)"  He nods his head sobbing, and wails "yeeeees."


We're interrupted by a bird flying in our living room.  He must have just had his nest outside in the tilleul tree.  Both Big Boy and I forget what we're doing and stare at him.  Young Lady joins in.  Peanut stares at us blankly, sucking on a car.


I start throwing open the window, remembering coming home one night when I was living in a chambre de service in the 16th (a tiny room up 6 flights of stairs in a posh part of Paris).  I was followed by my neighbors, whom I had never before met - it was midnight.  I walked in, turned on the lights, and heard a very distinct animal noise from behind my closet.  Terrified, I peeked around the closet and saw two black beady eyes staring out at me, and another frantic movement that made that scratching animal sound.


Forgetting all decorum and the fact that it was midnight, I knocked on my neighbor's door, who, as it turns out was the son of a veterinarian.   He figured out that it was a crow wedged behind my closet, that had flown in my open window and couldn't figure out how to get back out.  He wrapped a towel around his hand, allowed the bird to climb up on it, and opened the window to free him.  I was just starting to believe in God.


Our little sparrow had much more space and many more windows.  However, in spite of my opening all of them, he chose to fly down the stairwell and sit in front of the door.  (Psst kids, I think he thinks he's a dog).  So with the children looking on, I crept down the stairs, opened the door gently, pushing the bird the whole way, wide enough so he could figure out that the door behind him was actually open.


He spent a long time doing nothing, then dared to turn his head a bit and notice the sun streaming in behind him.  I said, "Come on kids, he's shy to move as long as we're here."  We went back into the living room and a minute later, I peeked at the space where the bird was.  It was empty.  Big Boy is calm.


Young Lady is eating bean sprouts - the ones I had ... sprouted ... all by myself for the very first time.


Young Lady, "When I'm a mommy, these will swim in my belly and make a baby."
Me, "um, um, um"
Young Lady, "I saw it on the movie (at the children's science museum)."
Peeling the hull off each sprout, "Maybe there's a baby in here .... nope.  Maybe there's a baby in here ....uh, nope."
Me, "um, um, um ...."


Really, she's six.  Let's just stick to the birds and the bees, if you please.


And let Mr. Welcome come home.